My journey to Clear Skin, The Keto Diet and My Eating Disorder
A welcome and Disclaimer:
I just want to start this blog post out by saying thank you for stopping by and thank you for your support!
I also wanted to put a Trigger Warning out there for anyone who may be sensitive to hearing about weight gain, calories and that sort of thing!!
You are probably wondering how My Eating Disorder has anything to do with acne and the keto diet?
Going back in time…
Well I guess we need to rewind a bit…. to approximately 10 years ago when I became very aware of calories and their impact on my body.
I had just returned home from an amazing vacation in Greece, I ate all the delicious foods I wanted… chocolate milkshakes, baklava (for breakfast with whipped cream), orzo and a ton of bread and butter all without a care in the world. This was in fact the last time I can remember taking a bite of food without thinking about how it would effect my body.
The Downward Spiral
I arrived home from my lovely vacation +10 pounds heavier and this was the beginning of my downward spiral. I began to obsess over losing that weight, I would work out intensely, walk obsessively, and restrict my food. In no time my vacation weight had gone but I didn’t stop there I kept going.
The Story behind the Story
This all took place during the time I was finishing grade 10 of High School it was rough… My parents were divorcing, my grandpa was dying, my best friends were moving, I had friends who liked to make nasty comments, and I was obsessed with my image. This was a time where I felt like my whole world was out of control and then I found one piece I could control … my weight.
I quickly began losing more weight and I was completely miserable! I would constantly cry I was so depressed. My body was going through so much, my hormones were out of whack, I wasn’t sleeping and I hated myself. I really just wanted to die.
Soon nothing seemed to matter aside from being skinny…that was my goal. The worst part of all was I had no idea I had a problem and I definitely couldn’t see that I had an Eating Disorder even though my loved ones could.
The cycle continues
Fast Forward one miserable year into another miserable year, I decided I would move during my senior year of highschool. I packed up and went to another school in another province thinking – THIS would solve all my problems. (no one told me you couldn’t run from your issues)
Long story short leaving and starting over was harder then I imagined and I was stressed out which pushed me further into my eating disorder.
This cycle continued until second semester where I decided to move back home. Moving back home meant I needed to ask my mom for permission to get my gym membership renewed. My mom would have NO part of it! She knew that if I lost anymore weight I would surely die at anytime!
My heart was barely beating and my body would soon start shutting down.
Nearing Death but Finding Life
At this time and in my condition I technically should have been on a feeding tube or dead but by the Grace of God he kept me alive. One cold winter morning after a fight with my mom about my gym membership… Jesus snapped me out of my state and showed my I had a problem and that I needed help FAST!! My eyes were now opened and I was no longer in denial I was ready to live again!
Finally I was back on track and getting healthy but even after years had passed I was still living on the edge and was always slightly underweight ready to go back down that dark path on a moments notice.
Romans 8:38-39 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
My Miserable Acne Experience
My life took a dramatic turn when my acne began getting out of control! Basically my whole life I had struggled with acne but that felt so minor compared to this!
My face was covered in painful acne – I was so depressed and desperately praying for help. Before this I had tried every medication and cream under the sun, the only thing I hadn’t tried was a diet change and I really felt that in my heart Jesus was prompting me to change and to try the keto diet.
This went against every fiber of my being… trying to be skinny for me always meant avoiding the EVIL foods like Fat so the keto diet sounded scary but I was desperate for help so I agreed to give it a go!
Finally Clear Skin BUT Weight Gain?
The Keto Diet ended up changing my face dramatically!!! I went from +10 pimples a week to Maybe 1 a week? I was so EXCITED!! But not long into my keto diet journey I had realised my big appetite was causing me to gain weight!
I had been so used to eating as much as I wanted because I was basically living on vegetables but now I was dealing with high fat and high calorie foods! I had began to obsess over calories again but this time I knew I couldn’t go over the edge and ruin my life again after coming so far.
That still small voice and healing…
Jesus spoke to my heart yet another time and prompted me to fully recover from my past. This meant I was finally ready to care about the fact that I’ve had Amenorrhea for the last +8 years (had no period) because my body was stressed, sometimes under fed and over worked.
Finally I am encouraged to heal my body, eat right, not to obsess over calories, and not to over exercise! My hopes are that I will heal from Amenorrhea, and finally have energy to live my life!
I really truly hope that something in my story will help to encourage your healing as well! Please never hesitate to message me on Instagram @ketoveganqueen or of course you can comment below!